A Very Scary Fairytale

Halloween is just around the corner. It's a holiday I prefer to ignore. I ignore all the evil, creepy, occultish decorations. I ignore the world's fascination with all that is dark. You can't even find anything to watch on tv at this time of the year, because it's all ghoulish....and I've made a couple of vows in my life: one...never to set foot in the CVS on Century Avenue and E again, and the other is never ever ever let shows or music that glorify the dark side play in my house. I have theories about that. BUT, I'm about to make an exception with the following post. Although this true tale took place in our kitchen a couple of months ago, it seems that now is the perfect time to tell you this frightening story, but take heed, the following images may be disturbing. You might have bad dreams....

Once upon a time....


...there was a sweet little princess (you've met her before and before that) who put down her crown long enough to help her kind beautiful mother bake a cake for her handsome fun dad, who was about to have a birthday.


Alas! The cupboard was bare! There wasn't a single cake mix to be found in all the castle! There was an obnoxious number of half eaten bags of potato chips and at least seven boxes of half-eaten, stale cereal, and lots of old jello....but not a single box of cake mix with which to make a birthday cake.
Despair was about to descend.... but then the kind beautiful mother had a brilliant idea! There WAS a box of brownie mix! The little princess and the kind beautiful mother immediately set about baking the brownies in round cake pans just like they would a cake...but when they turned the brownie cake out.....



Disaster! It was a disaster of huge magnitude! Pieces of brownie were everywhere!

This is the horribly distorted, quivering mass that was supposed to be the cake!

"Eeeaaaaaaeeeeeeaaaaaeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaeeekkk!"

Quickly the kind beautiful mother realized that time was of an essence. While the monster was still slightly warm she risked her dainty hands and mushed the whole thing together in a shape that was slightly reminiscent of a cake.

"I don't believe you did that! This can't possibly work! And now icing?" the little princess exclaimed!

Icing was indeed poured over the mass of chocolate goo. It ran in the cracks. It gooped down the sides!

But the brave little princess now realized that all would be well. Chocolate icing can cover a multitude of evils.

OK, not COVER exactly...but hey...this is a fairy tale...with a wave of the magic wand....

...and a few grimaces of disbelief.....

....the candles were set.....

....and the party guests appeared.....

...and all the people ate the nasty looking cake and a good time was had by all.

The End.

Moral of the story: The brownie cake is a great idea, but USE PARCHMENT PAPER!

Fairytale Blues

Once upon a time in a land called Mall of America, a beautiful, kind mother told her lovely, frolicking children that they could have whatever their hearts desired from the bakery case at the Nestle Tollhouse Bakery.

The hungry children gratefully chose cookies from the abundant display.

All except ONE. One little girl just couldn't be content with a simple but delicious cookie.

Her eyes scanned the case until they landed on something COMPLETELY unfamiliar....something she had never seen before.....something that had to set her apart from all the other happy, clean children.....

It was a cupcake of the most intense magical blue any of them, especially the kind beautiful mother, could ever have imagined...


At once the greedy little girl devoured the icing (which was enchanted, of course) without letting even so much as a crumb of cake cross her pink rosebud lips....

but soon, the mother and the children all gasped....because something strange and terrible was beginning to happen to the girl.....




....she began to turn blue!...



...and her teeth began to glow a strange grayish white!....

...and the sugar rush began to overtake her body until.....

....well you can just imagine how terrible she felt!

But the beautiful kind mother made it all better with her magic wetwipes and even, after being initially disgusted by the appearance of the licked up cake....

devoured it a couple hours later and was saved from sure starvation.

It was very good.

The End....

well it wasn't QUITE "the end" because you know what that blue food coloring does.....

Cinderella, Bella and a Fella

Introducing: Cinderella (Lily),
Bella (Katie known as Katie Belle when she was LITTLE)
and a Fella (their dad)

It was a magical night......at the ball.....in our kitchen....




Cinderella comes down the stairs....




She smiles at Prince Charming...(Dad for now.) ...showing
her glistening smile with the blue wad of gum....




Up!!!




Higher and Higher!!!



OK, that's high enough....




...and down for a spin....




...and a finish!



Do you think she feels special?




But Cinderella isn't the only princess at the ball...Belle
takes her turn with a more contemporary ensemble....




....a little more swing.... a little more jazz.... (notice Cinderella
waiting SO patiently...)




...and the LIFT....sort of...not quite ready for Simon.

Thank you for coming to the ball.