Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Fairytale Blues

Once upon a time in a land called Mall of America, a beautiful, kind mother told her lovely, frolicking children that they could have whatever their hearts desired from the bakery case at the Nestle Tollhouse Bakery.

The hungry children gratefully chose cookies from the abundant display.

All except ONE. One little girl just couldn't be content with a simple but delicious cookie.

Her eyes scanned the case until they landed on something COMPLETELY unfamiliar....something she had never seen before.....something that had to set her apart from all the other happy, clean children.....

It was a cupcake of the most intense magical blue any of them, especially the kind beautiful mother, could ever have imagined...


At once the greedy little girl devoured the icing (which was enchanted, of course) without letting even so much as a crumb of cake cross her pink rosebud lips....

but soon, the mother and the children all gasped....because something strange and terrible was beginning to happen to the girl.....




....she began to turn blue!...



...and her teeth began to glow a strange grayish white!....



...and the sugar rush began to overtake her body until.....




....well you can just imagine how terrible she felt!
But the beautiful kind mother made it all better with her magic wetwipes and even, after being initially disgusted by the appearance of the licked up cake....


devoured it a couple hours later and was saved from sure starvation.
It was very good.
The End....
well it wasn't QUITE "the end" because you know what that blue food coloring does.....

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Cinderella

You've seen her as Cinderella at the Ball, but that's not the only part of the fairy tale!



Upset at having no "moneys" in her Strawberry Shortcake wallet, she decided she wanted to earn some dough just like the big kids. So here she goes!





Method: unorthodox....but effective when you're three feet tall.





Attention to detail is everything! We only pay for quality work around here!









Oh the toil!



Even the legs of the chairs got attention. She's charging a dollar for this job, so I have to make it worth it!




Now for the sweeping. This is an additional charge. Notice the payment already wadded in her grubby little grip!






Wait! What's that? I think the imagination has overtaken the capitalistic drive!






"Whoaaaa horsey. That there's the LAW!"







She makes a quick retreat! Does she think she's getting another dollar? I think not.








Oh no! "Lily, did you hurt yourself cleaning??? I am so sorry. I hate when that happens, sweetie. Let me see it....I'll help you with the bandaid...."









"Whatever MOM! Bandaid? Ha!"










The only first aid here is for low blood sugar! A Reeses Peanutbuttercup ALWAYS makes the cleaning worthwhile. That's my girl!