Thursday, February 9, 2012

This Cake's Done

(First of all, for those of you who are expecting a food post because of the title, you might want to click the little exit box or button now.  This isn't really about cake.  It's about being a mother, having a son and letting go.)

Do you know that particular moment when you are baking a cake and you take a peek in the oven, or maybe you can even tell by the smell in the kitchen, and you say to yourself that "this cake is done."  There is a particular point in time when you declare the baking process finished and the cake is baked, and you quickly take it out of the oven.

There are various poke it and it bounces back,  the sides pull away from the pan, the aroma is wonderful, it has settled a bit from it's highest "puff."

Well, a couple of weeks ago...I had a strange experience with my oldest son Andrew who is a senior in high school.  I had the sudden realization that...this cake is done!  This is what led up to it:  He was having a busy week and getting ready to leave town for the weekend on a college visit (without us), with lots to plan and prepare for, as well as a nervewracking (for me) meeting with the school superintendent about starting a Fellowship of Christian Athletes group at his school.

I kept poking at him..."Have you done this?"  "Have you packed this?"  "Did you email so and so?"  "Did you remember to...?" "Are you  ready for that you know what you are going to say?"

He bounced back each and every time with a "Already did it, Mom" or "Yep" or "Got it covered, Mom."  

After about my 10th "check," he started to sigh.  He was very patient, but I could tell he was starting to...well... "pull away from the pan."  His meeting went well, all without his mother doing anything other than praying and asking everyone she knows to fact I have it from someone there that he was composed, respectful and firm (the perfect aroma).  He set up all his college meetings and packed appropriately......he didn't appear to need my support or prompts at all.  He was standing quite well on his own.

After he got back from his college weekend and told us of some of his disappointments there as well as the fun he had, I could see that he was settled and has an adult (realistic...unpuffed) view of the world around him.  

And right there, sitting at the kitchen island, I was surprised to have the same sensation I always have when I look at a cake and know the moment is right for it to come out of the oven. 
By the grace of God,
he's ready. 
He's good. 
He can handle what comes.  

I think this cake's done.  
(But I think I'll keep poking occasionally just to make sure!)


Dan and Tara said...

I cried while reading this, Suzanne. You're an excellent mom. I'm crying just THINKING about my cakes being done someday. Thank you for sharing. I'm thanking God that you're ahead of me in this game. Perhaps, just perhaps nothing will be a surprise for me after you've written about it a few times. I am praying that you are able to 'Let Go and Let God' show you the answers. It's hard, I realize.

Lisa M said...

so sweet and very insightful. I love your reflections and ability to not over-poke. :-) I prayed for a clam spirit for you and to trust that God will lead Andrew to the right place for next year. I can't relate but would love to hang out anytime. You make me smile.